Dad's Mind, My Heart

 Is it me, or do others feel that people with Alzheimer's have a very frantic and erratic energy to them most of the time? I'm used to my Dad being calm. He was a hypnotherapist at one point, so he could lull you to sleep with his calm voice and energy. Lately, I've seen more emotions like anger or anxiety, which were foreign to me when I used to picture him in my mind growing up. Now, I see more emotions as he struggles daily with his memory. Now, don't get me wrong; emotions are a good thing. They clue you into your inner and outer world. Emotions serve a purpose. This past week has been challenging. Dad has had more bad days than good. I know it's only Tuesday, New Year's Eve. Still, between last week and this week, it's been baffling to us (me and my husband) as to why his bad days are increasing, especially since he had been stable in previous weeks with a week of maybe two bad days. I notice more times lately when he isn't in our current timeline a...

It's a serious question. I mean caregiving is a very personal and world consuming experience. Do I worry about what my father will think if he reads it? Yeah, I do. I don't want him to feel embarrassed or like he's a burden because he's not. My intention is to share my heart about the experience because I have been finding that I'm storing up all of the experiences, good and bad, and it's hurting me. I need a safe place to share and look back. I hope if you are a caregiver that my words help, comfort, or at least help you know you're not crazy. Thanks for being on this journey with me.