update and porn

Yesterday was a shit show. I lost my cool when my Dad threw a literal tantrum in front of me like my three year olds would do. I yelled. I still feel bad about but he forgot shortly after and I was able to refocus our attention to figuring out dinner. Currently he's in the utility room going through God knows what and I'm enjoying hearing his delight when he finds things he forgot about. 

I was feeling really defeated yesterday. He kept going to the 'I'm not going to rent' mode when he'd feel overwhelmed. I managed to get him to aquies. However we barely got anything done because of the loop he gets into. This morning I wake up to one of my children whining and complaining about going to school. I was so done I yelled but they didn't hear me because reception sucks here. At least that's one saving grace but I did it in front of my mother before getting in her car to go to breakfast. She thoroughly reminded me to take care of myself. This stress isn't worth dying or having a stroke over. So, the rest of the day was luck incarnate. His friend from work took him to lunch so I was able to donate some things and then his other friend came and took him out for an hour so I was able to toss a bunch of junk he'd would have stored even though it was all busted. 

I'm exhausted but hopeful despite the fact that I'll be here for the month. I'm bummed out but I have two days where he won't be here and I'll be able to get a hell of a lot done if I can get help. My mom can't help because she has surgery Monday but maybe I can recruit some local friends to help me so I can get more done. I'm so in need of physical endurance it's not funny. 

Anyways, I am still thankful to be here with my Dad and for his amazing friend group and to hear all the stories of the things we come across.  May you cherish your time with family. It goes faster than you think. Oh yeah and enjoy a surprise I found... Lol sure it was a class 😂 

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