Dad's Mind, My Heart

 I am thankful that my father can live with us. It's been an adjustment for everyone and will be again when we return from Florida. I am concerned about how things will go while we are back in his home getting it ready to rent. Will he sleep in his recliner like before? Will he find more calendars and paperwork that will confuse him? Probably. Can I get his help going through items and the mega-tons of paper in the house? I'm not sure. When we were down in November, I would give a stack of documents to go through, and we could get an hour of work done before he said he was tired.  The task ahead of me is monumental. I have asked for help from Dad's local friends. Some have already agreed to take him out for an hour or two so I can go through things independently and get a break. Caregiving for Alzheimer's/Dementia/Any cognitive impairment is hard work. On the bad days, it's mentally and emotionally exhausting. Today has been challenging because of the constant inter...

A few days ago I shared this on my Facebook page:  "Tonight is the first time I have seen my father get aggressive with me about medication. He believes he took it from Rich earlier in the evening but he didn't. At 5pm he asked about his medicine and we told him it was 5 and still kind of early and he said he'd wait. So we finished the movie we were watching together about 10/15 minutes ago and I asked him if he took them and I said that what I was handing him was Friday PM. I don't believe he took them. I think he put them in another day because I watched him as inlet the dogs out before we went to bed. It was scary and weird. Has anyone else's parents or grandparents done this to them? What do you do in future?  I set him up to watch The Original Star Trek series in his room and told him so and he seemed calmer - looking through his magazine to take notes and hugged me and said it wasn't even 8pm so he'd be up for at least another 15 min. I'm complete...

A lot of my posts have been reactionary. I'm sorry for that. I do think there are bigger things at play such as the mother-son relationship and father - daughter relationship and how those play out over the course of a lifetime.  He has had more bad days than good this week. It's been very difficult to manage time with friends and with taking care of my father. I'll have more in depth posts coming soon. 

So, today has been a very bad day for my Dad.  Right now he thinks there is a man playing a horn in my entertainment center and he has a curtain behind him. This person has hair and he can see an ear. This person is apparently moving while playing. He is very adamant that he can see it and says it must just be from where he is sitting.  This is is where I'm supposed to look. What am I supposed to do? Is he hallucinating?  Ugh! This is all new to me.  I texted Rich who was in the parlor while I was with my Dad watching The Agency (not that he remembers any of it). My youngest is getting ready to go to his first dance. I'm helping him with his suit.  Thank God Rich and I spent time together when he got home early today. We needed that time to feel close and vent. I really am the luckiest woman ever. Rich knows how to make my Dad laugh and diffuses tense situations. His work ethic is unmatched. I am so thankful to have him has my partner for life. ...

 I woke up Monday morning with excitement and a little stress. It was the day that I would drive myself and Dad to Wesley Theological Seminary in D.C., where he earned his Master's in Divinity (1973) and Doctoral degree in Ministry (1974). I had arranged a tour with Chip Aldridge,  Special Assistant to the President for Alumni Engagement. Chip did an excellent job! The campus was quiet because the students weren't back from winter break. We toured the administrative building, chapel, and library and saw some classrooms. They have a lovely collection of art as well! It was nice hearing about Dad's time there. He had nothing but positive things to say about his time at the school. He shared where he had student appointments on the Eastern Shore and how the locals would go around and ask every resident for $1 to pay his salary. Chip found documents for the years my father attended and photocopied them for him to have. These documents also included their catalog for the year, w...

 Last night, I asked my Dad if he wanted to go to the Unitarian Universalist Church for their 9 a.m. service. He said yes, so I made sure I had enough alarms set on my phone to wake up in time to take him. We got there, and unfortunately, snow covered some parking, and I couldn't find an overflow parking area. We decided to see if there were any Methodist churches around and found one with the same problem. So much for meeting new people for him today.  Instead, I drove the long way home and did some sightseeing. Tomorrow, we will tour Wesley Methodist Seminary in D.C. Then, on Tuesday and Wednesday, I plan to make all the calls and work on the things I need to prepare for when we go to Florida in February. We will try our luck with the Unitarian Universalist Church social meeting on Thursday. I hope this will be successful and my Dad will make new friends.  I struggle to get anything done when we are home during the week. Some mornings, I start typing away, figuring out ...

This morning was ok! He was a little out of time but not bad. I was downstairs and started coffee before he came up for the day. I am so thankful for my BFF Becky who did DDP Yoga with me this morning despite our technical difficulties and then showered and woke up all the children. Then I made sure he ate and took his medicine.  The middle morning and afternoon was cool.  I made my lunch before 11am and then counseled my youngest on setting boundaries and enforcing them. I made pizza for everyone but me because I had a salad. My dad was not really interested in Captain Marvel but watched most of it. We then started to watch a historical movie called Darkest Hour and then he let me pick a show. I decided on the Picard series because my father introduced me to Star Trek. My captain will always be Picard and he loved The Next Generation. We have been enjoying each others company while watching the first series (we will probably be rewatching the 3rd episode again) but it has bee...

 I LOVE Snow! ❆ As a Florida girl, seeing the seasons change and experiencing actual snow were few and far between. I would visit my grandmother in Alabama, and we would get lucky sometimes and see snow flurries. When I was older, I moved to Virginia with my now husband. I was always a little embarrassed at how he enjoyed watching my awe of the leaves changing color and any little snow flurries we had. Today, where I live, there is a snowstorm! I am so happy. The last time we saw snow like this was in 2016. My children were little, and we had driven home after our cousin Gwen's wedding in Michigan.  Side note: I have THE BEST Neighbors ever! When the older snowstorm happened, they shoveled our driveway and made way for us to get the kids into the house. Then, my husband had to park our van at 7/11 because we couldn't get it to move any further. I felt so loved and appreciative. I still feel that way about my next-door neighbors and their kids. No action on their part is requir...

So the 1st was rough. Today, the 2nd was better. So why am I trying to not feel? Probably because it's the only day one out of 2 weeks that I could breathe? I actually got an hour nap in today! I'm not sure if  his *good* day is because I was upstairs before he got up this morning but I won't discount it. I'll do my best to be up at 5 am tomorrow again and see if I can replicate a calm day. The only plan for tomorrow is for me to take my kids into school and then take my dad to get a copy of his key made for his home in FL.   I also reached out to my health coach to get back on track. I will be going through my fuelings to get rid of expired ones and the figure out how many I have that are good. Then I can start my 5&1 plan for the rest of the month.I know that February will be different because we will be in FL until our goal of getting his items out and making sure the condo is safe is completed. I'll at least have had a head start. I'm trying to create a ...